Blue Moon
by Poseidonschild
Summary: Edwards Twilight Edward has near perfect control when it comes to resisting temptation, but when Isabella Swan walks into his life his limits will be put to the test in more ways than he could have imagined. With human emotions resurfacing, Edward may risk it all for her. The question he keeps asking however - What exactly is he risking? Her life or his families?
1. Authors Note

Thanks for chosing to read my story Blue Moon. I hope that you enjoy reading Twilight from Edwards perspective. I started this because my younger cousin is a huge fan of the Twilight Series and was really bumbed out that Stephanie Meyer chose not to write the story in Edwards point of view. Being twilight fan myself I decided that rewritting the story from Edward would be a great way to improve my own writting. I hope you enjoy the story and please leave review. Let me know what you thought and point out anything that seemed out of character or something that happened that was left out. filling in the blank spaces of twilight with Edwards story is really hard.

Thank you!

Poseidonschild


	2. Disclaimer

This story is a recreation of the book Twilight, therefore the story and all characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, author of Twilight, Eclipse, New Moon, and Breaking Dawn. I own nothing.

Poseidonschild


	3. Preface

Temptation, Desire, Want – I understood these words better than most. I knew what it was to crave something with a need so fierce that the rest of the world didn't matter, only the satisfaction of gaining your heart's desire. I knew better than any human being and perhaps most of my own kind what it meant to turn away from your temptation, to crush the thirst and hunger of need. At one point or another everyone was tempted by the forbidden fruit Satan presented Eve, or to lift the lid on Pandora's Box and peek at what was inside, but I never gave any thought to what form my temptation would take. Like so many others I thought I already faced my temptation, faced it every day and won with my refusal to drink from the life source of humanity. I had to hold onto that conviction no matter what happened I would never allow myself to become the monster that I once was.


	4. The Beast

The Beast

I watched the rain drops hit the window and then cascade down the transparent surface blurring the outside world. I sighed, thinking of how easy it was for my family to exist here, how we didn't have to hide ourselves from the sun. The sky above was dark as the clouds cast out most of the suns light. Here we could be almost normal, pretend for the most part that we were human too, and that our dark nature was nothing more than a horrible nightmare.

Forks, Washington was rarely ever sunny, and a permanent fog seemed to hang over the place. Rain was most always expected as the weather forecast even during the summer when everyone hoped that the sun would make an appearance more often than it did. I thought about the gossip that had been circulating the school for the last few weeks and wondered about the new girl who was moving to town from Phoenix, Arizona and I what she would think about the sunless town that she was arriving to today. It rained as often in Phoenix as the sun shined here in Forks, possibly even less.

I shook my head knowing she probably already had an opinion since she wasn't truly new to the town itself. She had been born here, spent every two weeks of her summer here as she grew up. When the announcement arrived that she would be returning to her home the little town of Forks became alive with all sorts of gossip. Her mother and father had been in love with each other, had married when she had become pregnant with their little girl, and they had bought a little two story two bed room house only to have her curse the insufferable rain and pick up their baby girl and leave a few months later. Now it seemed there was a change in custody and the little girl who wasn't so little anymore was finally coming home, as the town put it, to where she belonged. Her name was Isabella Swan and she was none other than the daughter of our estimable Police Chief Charlie Swan.

A slight grin tugged at the corners of my mouth as my thoughts landed on Charlie Swan. He was so excited that his daughter was coming to stay with him in what seemed like a permanent situation. I remembered glimpsing his thoughts about his daughter and hoped that his wishes for their relationship would pan out. She had made it abundantly clear to him that she was not fond of Forks and at eleven years of age had put her foot down and began seeing him in California instead. There was a sadness about Charlie especially where his daughter was concerned. It bothered him that he had never been much of a father to her, that he had missed so many birthdays, so many important stepping stones in her life. He didn't have the privilege that most fathers had where they could pick and choose their favorite memories of their daughters as they grew up. Charlie's memories of his daughter were very limited just like the amount of time they spent together. He was worried that he would screw up any chance he had of forging a relationship with a daughter he hardly knew.

"Edward!" I heard my sister hiss from downstairs.

"What?" I asked turning away from my window and slowly making my way down stairs.

Make him see reason. He is being ridiculous! She thought, not bothering to voice her words out loud knowing that I could hear them in her mind. I allowed myself to absorb what others were thinking in the house wondering what was going on and who was being ridiculous. Come on I want to hunt! I heard from my brother Emmitt. I need to push myself; I need to control it, my need. This is the only way to learn, I have to push the boundaries. These thoughts came from my brother Jasper and apparently the source of my sisters exasperation.

"Jasper," I said breaking his train of thought. "You need to feed, it's been too long."

My sister Alice rolled her eyes at me in disgust at my attempt. Do you think none of us has said that yet? My sister Rosalie thought sarcastically.

"Edward I can't learn to control my hunger unless I know what my limits are," he pleaded with me to understand.

I sighed wondering why we were having this discussion. We always seemed to come around to this, pushing the limits of our control, because Jasper seemed to think it was the only way to gain the control he need to live around humans without feeling the nearly overwhelming need to devour them. He was the least stable of our family of seven. He was the newest to join our way of life and he had been raised quite differently than the rest of us. He had been taught to divulge in his nature and take what his body thirsted for, and it went against his every instinct to walk by a human and not take what his body craved.

His thoughts continued to flash through my mind as I had no way to block them out. Pity stirred inside of me as his thoughts were full of shame. He felt weak being around the rest of us and unworthy to be a part of us. I knew that it was fleeting that the emotions would pass and once he was well fed he would be himself, but it hurt seeing how he held us on some sort of pedestal. He couldn't control his hunger the way we did, and he lapsed in his control occasionally. No one in our family saw him any differently because of it, he was Jasper, a Vampire who chose to fight against his own nature. At least he fought for some semblance of humanity. We all lapsed in our control at some point, well, all except for our father Carlisle. We had all given into our temptations, we had all killed, we had all drank the blood of a human to satisfy our cravings. Carlisle was the only one who never had.

"Jasper we are all thirsty," I tried to reason. "Alice is right this is getting ridiculous, even dangerous."

Please Edward! Just till the weekend. I promise I'll feed this weekend. It is only a few more days away, Jasper fought. I could see it in his mind how resolved he was in this how resolved he always was when it came to this.

I let out another small sigh and nodded my acceptance. I heard Alice growl as her special gift of seeing the future revealed to her that I had not swayed Jasper's decision. She was unhappy with me for not trying to talk him out of his plan, but I understood better than anyone what he was trying to prove. I could see his memories of his past and knew that he never wanted to be that person again, that he wanted to be like Carlisle. I could feel his regret that he had never thought to seek another way of living until Alice literally skipped into his life. He never wanted to be that man again, never wanted to kill a human just for his own survival. I nodded to him making it clear that he was going to have to explain it to everyone, but that I sided with Jasper.

I turned and went back upstairs my sibling's voices growing fiercely loud inside my head and I turned on my music to help drown out their thoughts. I picked up the medical book that was lying on my couch where I had left it to look out the window and sat down. As I began to read from where I left off my mind briefly wondered what Isabella Swan would be like.

I should have skipped today I thought. Everyone's thoughts were so loud, so excited, I was beginning to get a headache. I groaned quietly during a class lecture as a picture of what someone thought Isabella Swan would look like and just what that person wanted to be doing with her filled my mind. I mentally shook my head of the picture and tried to focus on something else, and found my mind settling on what Isabella Swan could possibly looked like. I pictured Charlie and decided that she would have his hair and eyes, but that her eyes would be the shape of her mothers. I didn't know what her mother looked like so I didn't know what shape her other features would take. I let my mind wander trying to find someone who had seen Isabella already, someone who has already met her, so that I could discover what she truly looked like.

It amazed me that one insignificant girl could stir up so much gossip, but it didn't truly surprise me. My family and I had been the center of the gossip wheel for nearly a hundred years. Every time we moved somewhere the gossipers didn't waste any time spreading around all the faults of our family, mostly about how my siblings and I were going to be trouble. At last my mind lighted on Eric Yorkie's and I was able to get a clear picture of what Isabella Swan looked like.

She was a brunette as I pictured she would be with her father's brown eyes. She was average in height, her skin pale even compared to those who lived in Forks – she was nearly as white as my family and I. There was absolutely nothing about her that was spectacular, nothing that would make you remember her. I frowned wondering what Eric was finding so appealing about her, she was almost plain in her appearance. Eric's thoughts began to turn to a more intimate nature and I quickly tried to find something else to distract my thoughts not wanting to be privy to what Eric would like to do to Isabella.

Finally the bell rang helping me break the flow of thoughts that were bombarding me from hundreds of students. Getting up to go to lunch I wished for a thousandth time that there was some way that I could turn off the flow of thoughts like you can turn off a water spicket. I tried to find my siblings minds in the school so that I could focus on their thoughts. It would help to drown out the rest if I could focus on just one person and I knew that my siblings would not be thinking of Isabella Swan. My mind found my sister Rosalie first and I quickly flinched as her thoughts were full of what she wanted to do with my brother Emmitt – her mate. I sighed knowing to avoid Emmitt's mind. If the looks he was giving Rosalie were any indication he was probably already planning out how they were going to be spending the evening. I tried to find Alice and trying to avoid Jasper's. He would be entirely focused on his control and I was thirsty enough without adding his thirst to my own. Alice's attention was focused entirely on Jasper and images kept flitting through her mind of Jasper's future.

I grabbed a lunch try and filled it with food that human's somehow found appetizing and I found purely disgusting and made my way to the table my siblings and I sat at. Since my brother's and sister's weren't going to be any help in deflecting the bombardment of Isabella thoughts I tried to find someone in the room who probably wouldn't be thinking about her. My eyes found Angela Weber.

I smiled knowing that Angela was a very nice girl who never seemed to be concerned with what others thought. Usually I tried to avoid reading her mind because she was such a nice girl and I felt rude invading privacy. Her parents didn't have a lot of money and Angela was always thinking about how she could help out around the house – taking care of her two younger brothers, cleaning the house, cooking, grocery shopping. I felt like I was taking peaks at her bank account by intruding on her thoughts, but today was different. I needed Angela to distract me from the mayhem of the rest of the schools thoughts, to anchor me in the chaos before I went insane. As I sat down I let my mind focus on hers and was relieved that she wasn't thinking about Isabella, but about what she needed to get from the store to cook dinner tonight.

How is he holding up? Alice asked me demanding my attention. I let my mind focus on Jasper and then shrugged slightly with one arm indicating that he was fine. She scowled knowing that he was also suffering and that he was inflicting it upon himself. Thanks, I'm leaving I need to go to the library. I nodded my understanding and watched as she picked up her tray and left. I glanced at Jasper hoping that everything would work out until he could go hunting in a few nights. It was dangerous to push ourselves to our limits, we risked a lot doing this and I would be more than happy when we were able to hunt this weekend. The burn in the back of my throat was beginning to hurt.

Who the Cullen's? My eyes darted in the direction the thought had come from and landed on Jessica Stanly. I flashed my gaze to the person sitting next to her, a person who had been haunting my thoughts all day through the means of others. Isabella Swan blushed as my eye's met hers and her gaze fell to the table but not before mine returned to the tray of untouched food before me as I concentrated on Jessica's thoughts. I heard Jessica giggle and I didn't have to read her thoughts to know that she was pleased that I looked at her.

That's Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife. There was a hint of scorn in her thoughts that corresponded with what she was saying. I realized that she was talking to Isabella Swan and I wondered what had sparked her curiosity about us.

"Jessica and the new girl are talking about us," I said under my breath to my family as I tried to focus my mind on Isabella's. My family didn't say anything knowing that I would alert them if they said anything that potentially could cause us problems.

They are…very nice-looking. I heard Isabella respond to Jessica through Jessica's thoughts. I chuckled knowing that it had been the understatement of the year. We weren't vain, but we knew that the humans thought we looked beautiful. Some of them I had heard describe us as Gods among men. Nice-looking indeed. My siblings thoughts flooded my mind as they asked what I was laughing at, but I just shook my head at them and refocused on trying to find Isabella's thoughts.

They're all together though – Emmett and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they live together. Why were people so judegemental. We may live together, may call the same two people mother and father, but even the lies we had told the rest of the world didn't change the fact that we weren't connected in any way to one another, well beside Rosalie and Jasper.

Which ones are the Cullen's? They don't look related...

Oh they're not. Dr. Cullen is really young, in his twenties or early thirties. They're all adopted. The Hales are brother and sister, twins – the blondes – and they're foster children.

They look a little old for foster children. Isabella truly had no idea how right she was. Rosalie and Jasper should be grandparents by now, in Jasper's case he should be a great-great-great grandfather and most definitely lying in a casket somewhere.

They are now, Jasper and Rosalie are both eighteen, but they've been with Mrs. Cullen since they were eight. She's their aunt or something like that.

That's really kind of nice – for them to take care of all those kids like that, when they're so young and everything.

I gusess so. Jessica's thought's were spiteful and I mentally flinched. She didn't like me because I had refused her advances, but mostly she was jealous of how beautiful and rich we were. She wanted it for herself. I think that Mrs. Cullen can't have any kids, though. She said this as if my parents reasons for adopting us was selfish, and perhaps in a way it had been. Carlisle was looking for companionship when he changed me. My mother had asked him to save me and he had done it for her benefit as much as for his own. In Carlisle's eyes he had been giving me a gift, a gift most saw as a curse.

Have they always lived in Forks? I heard Isabella ask Jessica as I continued to focus on her mind. I was becoming increasing flustered though, because I couldn't find Isabella's mind at all.

No, they just moved down two years ago from somewhere in Alaska. Jessica's thoughts began imagining how our life would pan out if I would ask her out on a date. If Jessica truly new who and what I was she would turn and run as far away as she could get from me.

I tried to escape her thoughts by finding Isabella's and still, where I knew her mind should be, there was nothing. It was as if her psych was none existent. Maybe if I looked at her I thought frowning at the disturbing thought that I might have come across someone that I couldn't hear. I let my gaze light on Isabella and tried to focus my mind on hers. She blushed under my scrutiny and turned her gaze toward the table. I faintly heard her ask Jessica who I was, but I was concentrating so intently on her that I barely heard the conversation. Isabella glanced at me from behind her wall of hair. I could feel her gaze burning my skin as she tried to analyze me discretely before listening to Jessica. I turned away then and tuned into Jessica's thoughts catching her grumbling over how she thought I was too good for anyone around here. A smile broke across my face as I heard some of her curses she mentally threw at me unaware of the fact that I could actually hear her.

"The bells about to ring," Rosalie murmured grabbing her lunch tray and standing up the rest of us following her example.

"So what does the new girl think of us?" Jasper asked as he walked up next to me his posture stiff as he tried to avoid breathing.

I frowned, thinking about it for a moment. What did I tell my family? Should I tell them I couldn't read her? Yes, it was a liability and it would put them at risk, but I wasn't sure I wanted to admit it just yet. "She said we are very nice-looking," I said hesitantly not wanting to lie to my siblings.

Emmett chuckled, "Another girlfriend for you Edward?"

I scowled at Emmett. Was she interested in me? And why was I so pleased at the idea? My scowl darkened as I went over the conversation between Isabella and Jessica, but I couldn't tell if there were any secret signals that should alert me to her interest.

"So she said we were good looking, but what was she thinking Edward?" Jasper pressed.

I grimaced as the rest of my family's gazes became curious. "I'm…I don't know," I said honestly, but why didn't I know?

"What do you mean?" Rosalie hissed suspiciously.

I shrugged uncertain how to explain or even if I could. "I don't think she was thinking," I said finally, hoping that it was that simple.

"Are you saying she's stupid?" Emmett asked. Rosalie scowled at her mate, why do I put up with him? He's the stupid one.

"Edward everyone thinks, you can't not think, even when you think you're thinking of nothing you're thinking of something," Jasper pointed out. I knew he was right, something should have been going through her head, but it was like it didn't even exist.

I shook my head at my family, "We'll talk about it at home. I need to think about it for a bit." I wondered off toward my classroom, my family's concerned thoughts following behind me.

I sat down at my desk in Biology class setting my books on the table and slumping in my seat to think about Isabella. Why couldn't I read her? Maybe she didn't think in words, maybe she thought in colors or pictures. I shook my head dismissing that idea, I would have still been able to see that. I wondered if it would help to touch her. I knew another mind-reader who had to touch the skin of someone before he could read their thoughts, maybe that was all I need to do. Now I just needed to find a way to do that.

The door to the class opened and I saw Angela walk by me. I wondered why she couldn't befriend Isabella instead of Jessica. I had gotten a good glimpse at Jessica's thoughts and knew that she was only friends with Isabella because of her popularity. She was hoping to catch one of the guys that would pass through Isabella's life. I frowned, why did I care who she was friends with? Isabella was no concern of mine except that I couldn't read her.

I tensed in my seat and gripped the desk with all my strength as the most tantalizing smell drifted toward me. I anchored myself to my seat trying to keep myself from jumping out of it. The smell of blood, so sweet, so delicious, so mouth-watering, was tearing away at my control. Who did that blood belong too? I turned in my seat in the direction the scent had come from and found my eyes connect with Isabella's. Her brown eyes widened as she saw the hostile expression on my face and she nearly tripped as she tried to break away from the contact. How dare she! First she has the audacity to keep her thoughts hidden from me now she had the nerve to carry such a sweet, exotic, succulent blood as her life source.

My scowl deepened as I saw Mr. Banner point out the last seat in the class next to me. Isabella flushed as she noticed my dark gaze and I nearly cried out in want at the sight. God her blood was like a Siren to me, promising that it would be delicious, better than delicious, it would be indescribable. I gripped my desk tighter as I moved one hand up to cover my nose in an attempt to screen the delectable scent. I leaned away from her as far as I could when she sat down.

I glanced at the clock and nearly groaned. The monster inside of me pushed forward and I nearly gasped with the want of her. There were only twenty students in the room the beast reasoned. You can take them, it said, no one would know what was happening. My grip tightened on the desk and part of it crumbled away. I wondered if anyone would notice what had been done to it. I squeezed my eyes shut and there he was, the monster. Taker her, he said, Carlisle would understand, he would forgive you just like last time. I opened my eyes trying to avoid the monsters gaze, but he was still there inside me.

I thought through scenarios; how I could kill her, drain her of that blood that promised sin and desire. I could ask her to leave with me after class, she would come – they always come. I could take her to my car, I shook my head, bad idea, someone could see us, so I would take her to the forest. Inside me the monster continued to taunt me, take her, take her. I cringed it had been so long since I had taken a life. But you want her, he whispered alluringly, Carlisle doesn't have to know. Carlisle! I couldn't let Carlisle down, yet I already had. I wanted her, Carlisle would be disappointed, but I couldn't help it. Her blood called to me, sang to me, just like a Siren. How could I resist such promise? More scenarios ran through my mind as I tried to find a way to have her. I could follow her home. No one would know that I was there, they would pin her death on a robbery.

I glanced over at Isabella, my scowl darker as I tried to hold myself back. I saw her glance at me beneath her hair and she flinched, sinking back in her chair as if I held a knife on her, which I very nearly did. I turned away from her, picturing what she saw and saw the monster I fought so hard to bury starring back at me. I mentally winced, I couldn't do this. I couldn't hurt Isabella, it would destroy my family and it would destroy Charlie. He just got her back; it would kill him to lose her. Just then the bell rang and I was up and out of my seat before anyone had begun to put their books in their bags. I didn't care if anyone saw me move at a pace that was a little too quick. I had to get away from Isabella and her scent. I hurried to my car and locked myself inside trying to breathe in the air and forget about Isabella's sweet aroma. I couldn't risk going to my next class and find out Isabella was in it too.

I reached forward and turned on my stereo hoping that the classical music that helped me to relax would work today. I hummed along with the tune trying to occupy my thoughts with something else other than Isabella. When enough time passed that I was certain I wasn't going to jump out of the car and go after her I began looking for her in the minds of others. I needed to know where her class was so that I could avoid her tomorrow. I found her in Mike Newton's thoughts. They were playing volleyball in P.E. Good, so I only had to worry about Biology. Maybe I could get my schedule changed. As soon as the bell rang I was jumping out of my car and heading for the main office.

"Mrs. Cope," I said as I stepped inside the office and walked towards the desk and the receptionist.

"Hello Edward," she said when she looked up. She smiled at me sweetly, "What can I do for you?" He's so handsome, all the Cullen's are. I wish that doctor wasn't already married.

I smiled back at her and watched as she involuntarily shivered. "I was wondering if I could switch out of my Biology class, it's too easy," I clarified making my voice honey-sweet.

Mrs. Cope frowned, "Edward, it's the middle of the term."

I lowered my gaze and glanced at her from beneath my lashes. "I know, but it's so easy. Can't I switch it to an independent study or a higher science? I already know everything," I explained invitingly. I heard someone enter the office but I was focusing on Mrs. Cope's mind I didn't care.

"Let me look and see what I can do," she said slightly dazed. She flickered through the screens on her computer and I listened to her thoughts as she did. Nope not there, class is full. Won't allow a transfer. Juniors aren't allowed independent studies.

Someone walked through the office door then and a breeze followed her. I stiffened as I recognized the unmistakable perfume of Isabella Swan. Her body's natural scent so much more tantalizing and intoxicating than any chemical mix on the market. The monster inside of me reared back his head demanding his release. I shuddered with the force of want as it fought for control. I pounded him down, resolved not to hurt her and turned back to the receptionist. "Never mind, then," I said hastily but politely. "I can see that it is impossible. Thank you so much for your help." I turned around and hurried out the door and I could feel the curious gazes of both as they followed my flight.

I gulped in the fresh air as soon as I was outside and instantly hurried to my car before the beast inside me overpowered my resolve. I immediately started the engine and whipped out of the parking lot without one word to my siblings. "Edward what's wrong?" Jasper asked me as we pulled out onto the main road. I could feel him trying to calm my emotions down, but I could also feel my control slipping as well. Jasper couldn't control the monster inside of me and my anger was what kept it at bay.

"Stop it!" I snapped at him growling in warning. Jasper raised his brows in surprise, but I quickly felt my anger surge forward back in place fighting the monster back to where I had tried burying him long ago.

Alice was focused on images filtering through her mind and I knew she was looking to the future to see what had happened in my past. I felt Rosalie's glare as she burned the back of my head with her scolding remarks about how I was behaving. Maybe, just maybe, I could have her, no one would know. I could still beat her home if I dropped my family off.

"Edward! Don't!" Alice turned her wide gaze on me and I flinched back knowing she had seen me attacking Isabella. "She's a person Edward, a living breathing, human being," she pleaded with me.

"You think I don't know that," I snarled. Jasper gave me a disapproving glare, but I hardly noticed.

"She's all Charlie's got Edward, you can't hurt her!" Alice pleaded with me.

"Why would he hurt Isabella?"' Emmett asked clearly catching on to who we were discussing.

"I don't know if I can help it Alice," I whispered shamefully, dismayed at my weakness.

"Go see Carlisle. Please Edward, just go speak to him first," Alice placed her hand on my arm pleading with me to be strong, just strong enough. I didn't trust myself to speak so I nodded, unsure if I deserved her trust. "Drop us off here, we will run home," Alice said retrieving her hand from my arm. I stopped at the side of the rode and waited for my siblings to get out, their thoughts full of frustration not knowing what was going on. "Carlisle will explain everything when he gets off work," I heard Alice say to my brothers and sister.

As soon as the last door closed I stepped on the gas and whipped around heading straight towards the hospital. It took everything I had not to turn off on one of the many streets and go to Isabella's home. I tightened my hands on the wheel as I drove still trying to fight back the monster that was inside of me.

As soon as I parked my car at the hospital I jumped out and went inside. I walked up to the receptionist my hands clenched as I fought back the urge to satisfy my thirst on one of the many people in the room. "I'm here to see Dr. Cullen," I said to the receptionist when she looked up.

"Do you have an appointment?" she asked politely preparing the patient medical papers for me to fill out.

I shook my head waving her off of her chore. "No, no. I'm his son. Is he available, it is an emergency," I explained resisting the urge to tell her it was a matter of life and death. She didn't need to know that Isabella might not be alive tomorrow and that I would be the reason she wasn't.

The receptionist nodded skeptically, "Let me just call his pager…"

"Edward?" I turned around to see my dad in the waiting area the double doors he had just come through swinging shut. "Is everything alright? What's going on?" he asked as he approached me.

I shook my head in response to his first question and then glanced around the room hoping that he would get the hint that it was a very private conversation. He nodded and turned to the receptionist, "Thank you Mary. I'll be in my office."

He gripped me on the arm and I wondered if he somehow sensed that I wanted to run and go after Isabella. I could still smell her sweet scent…I groaned trying to think of something else, anything else other than how Isabella would taste. Before I knew it we were in my father's office and he was motioning for me to sit down.

"Alice called and said you were on your way. She didn't know what was bothering you, but she said that she was worried you were going to kill Isabella. Why would she say that?" he asked me as he sat in the chair across from me.

I buried my face in my hands in mortification. They said confession was good for the soul, but I didn't think I could handle the dismay that I would see in Carlisle's eyes. I looked up to him and he trusted me and I had betrayed that trust once before and here I was betraying it again by even thinking of killing Isabella. How did I explain this to him? Would he even understand?

"Edward," Carlisle pressed softly sensing my unease.

"Have you…Has anyone's blood ever been more…potent than another's?" I asked him quietly avoiding meeting his gaze.

"Of course. Everyone's blood is different and it smells different, some sweeter than other's," Carlisle explained. "But you already know that Edward so why ask?"

"I mean have you ever come across someone who had blood that seemed to be made for you, just you?" I tried again hoping that I had worded the question right.

Carlisle frowned, "Edward what is this about?"

"I… It's about Isabella Swan," I started. "Carlisle her blood is the most mouth-watering scent I have ever come across. It took everything I had, all eighty years of building my control, to keep my-self from devouring her before the whole class. Each time I think about her I feel the beast inside of me get stronger."

"Perhaps you are simply reacting to her blood because it is new and you have not fed. Every new scent is strong when you first smell it and it takes time to get used to it. You are nearly starving Edward. Perhaps her blood just seemed tastier because you were already craving blood," Carlisle explained and I could hear in his thoughts that he truly thought that was all this was.

I shook my head in disagreement. This was so much more than just starvation and new blood and no matter how much I would like to believe that I could simply go out and hunt I had to be honest. "How do I explain this? It's like her blood is calling out to me Carlisle. It's like a siren call and I know that if I sink my teeth into her, her blood will be the sweetest blood I have ever tasted or will ever taste again. I can still smell her from here, even the memory of her scent is enough to fill me with want. How long can I hold myself against that?" I asked him quietly.

Carlisle studied me in silence and I could hear what he was thinking, but I didn't say anything. He wasn't sure that he was convinced that I couldn't control myself around her. I bowed my head in shame as I heard how much faith he had in me. I didn't deserve it; I wasn't entirely certain that I wouldn't stop at Isabella's on the way home and take her then. An idea flitted through Carlisle's head which he quickly discarder. "That's it," I cried out. "I'm going to Denali, far away from Isabella Swan," I decided taking his idea and making it a plan.

"Edward be reasonable, there's no reason to leave," he disputed. "You probably just need to feed."

I shook my head knowing that it was so much more than that. "Carlisle, I can't risk it, I won't risk it. This is the best way."

Carlisle sighed and it sounded almost hurtful and broken. "I suppose if it is as bad as you believe it is Denali is the best place for you. At least there you will be amongst friends. Your mother will be very hurt," he said trying one last time to convince me to stay.

I shook my head, "I won't risk it."

"You know you could just read her mind and avoid her altogether. I could make a call and get you out of the class you apparently have with her," he pushed. I grimaced as I thought about why that wouldn't work. "What is wrong with that plan?" he demanded.

"I can't read her," I whispered ashamed of my lack of control where it concerned Isabella.

Carlisle starred at me dumbfounded. "You can't?" he asked.

"If I wasn't looking at her I wouldn't even know she was in the room," I admitted. "It's not like the people I couldn't read before where it is like hitting a brick wall to get to their thoughts. No, it's like Isabella doesn't have a mind at all. It just doesn't exist. Do you see why it's so dangerous for me to be around her?" I asked him hoping that he understood.

"Yes I see your point," he admitted with a sigh. "I still think that you should try. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for." I shook my head in disapproval. Carlisle sighed, walking around to the front of his desk and pulling his keys out of his drawer. "My car has a full tank of gas. Don't worry about the family I will explain things to them. I'll call Tanya and let them know that you are coming."

"Thank you," I said giving him a hug. "Tell mom that I love her," I said as I left his office. It was difficult to leave my family behind, but I would do it to protect them. My last thought as I drove out of town was what Isabella Swan would be doing?


	5. Closed Book

Closed Book

I stared out across the valley to the mountains on the other side. Tanya and her family lived up in the mountain range where I stood and the nearest person was miles away. I sighed, thinking of how nice it might be to never have to move. To stay here unconcerned that someone might notice you are not aging or that your skin glitters in the sunlight. It would be nice, but my family would quickly become board. In an odd way we sort of enjoyed moving from town to town every ten years or so. Esme loved to renovate houses and so we would always look for a house that needed a little face lift to buy so that she could apply her decorating skills, Carlisle loved his work too much to give it up, and the rest of us enjoyed having a change of pace.

The sun was beginning to go down and I watched as the mountains in the distance turned from a harsh pure white to a soft lilac purple set against a dark royal blue sky. Down in the valley I could see a moose drinking from a lake and in the distance I heard a wolf howl. I leaned back against a pine tree appreciating the peacefulness and at the same time missing the bickering siblings I had left behind in Forks. I missed the couples arguing with each other and Carlisle finally stepping in to create peace in the family, I missed Alice and her strange ability to be vastly annoying, I missed Rosalie's pessimism, I missed Emmett's childish attitude, I missed Jasper's fretting, and I missed Esme's mothering, but most of all, I missed Carlisle and his wisdom and guidance.

Could he have been right about my thirst for Isabella Swan? I knew he hadn't been, but up here in the peace far away from Forks it was easy to believe, to want to believe, that he could have been right, and that Isabella wasn't as sweet smelling as I had first thought. I shook my head knowing that wasn't true. Her blood had been made just for me and I knew it the first time I had smelled it. However, without the monster rearing its ugly head inside of me, I could think much more clearly. Perhaps I had overreacted and all I need to do was to keep myself fed and avoid her as much as was possible.

Are you alright Edward? You have us worried. I heard Tanya think and I turned to watch her approach before turning my gaze back to the purple mountains in the distance.

"I am fine," I shrugged. Carlisle had not told Tanya and her family why I had come to Denali, Alaska, but they knew that I was struggling with something. Carlisle simply told Tanya that I had some internal demons to battle and that I felt safer doing that away from Forks.

"You are not fine," Tanya grumbled as she turned her eyes from me and to the distant peaks. "You have been brooding since you arrived here."

"I don't really want to talk about it Tanya," I said politely. It was a punch to my pride as it was with the family knowing about my lack of control around Isabella, Tanya and her family didn't need to know about it as well.

She gave me a seductive smile, "I can think of other ways to spend our time together."

Her hand lighted on my forearm and I sighed as it began to move up my biceps to my shoulder. "Tanya…"

She pulled her hand away and crossed her arms. "I know, I know, I'm not the one," she said somewhat crossly. Oh how I wish you were though. I ignored her thought and continued looking out at the horizon the conflict within me still raging. Half of me wanted to return home and be with my family, but the other half knew that I wasn't safe around Isabella. "You know Edward, I don't know what you need or what advice to give or if you just need to hear something specific, but if I were you I would talk out your problem with Carlisle. Chances are he's been where you are right now."

I shook my head, "I have talked to him and he hasn't." I truly wish he had been through a situation like mine before, but his control was mythical and I doubt he even really smelled the blood anymore.

"What did he say to you?" she asked interested. I could hear in her thoughts that she was curious as to what I had experienced that Carlisle never had.

I sighed as once again I replayed the conversation in my head. "That I could handle it, I was strong enough to deal with it," I replied. "He thought me leaving was an overreaction."

"I would trust him Edward. He's a wise man," she said softly. "They're your family Edward and I don't think they would ever allow you to do anything reckless. Besides you should keep in mind that you do have a slight tendency to overreact about certain things."

I shot her a glare from the corner of my eye, "Like when?"

"How about the time Carlisle turned Rosalie and you through a fit or there was the time when Alice and Jasper moved in and you came home to find your things in the garage and Alice living in your room and you nearly broke the house." She said laughing remembering how Carlisle had told her what had happened.

I scowled at her, "Fine you proved your point."

"Are you going back?" she asked hopefully.

"Anxious to see me leave Tanya," I teased her.

"Disappointed if you do, I was hoping for more time to change your mind," she smiled at me.

I sighed and turned back to the mountains, "You'll find the right man for you Tanya, one day."

I felt Tanya grasp my hand in hers. She wasn't making a move on me she was simply letting me know that she was there for me as a friend. "You will too Edward. Whoever she is, she'll be special, because you're special."

I smiled down at her meeting her gaze, "Thanks Tanya."

"Go home Edward, you belong with your family, not here," she whispered to me. I nodded my understanding. She was telling me that I had to face my problems and trust that those I loved wouldn't allow me to lose control.

"Good-bye Tanya," I said and leaned in to kiss her cheek. Tanya was a good friend and as much as she wanted to be more than that she also knew that I couldn't give her anything else. She knew that all we ever will be and all we ever could be was just friends. I turned away and headed toward the house to say good-bye to the rest of her family.

I pushed Carlisle's Cadillac as fast as it could go so that I could get home. Now that I had made the decision to go back to my family I was anxious to be with them. Occasionally I wondered if I had made the right choice to come back. Would Isabella be safe if I was around her? Carlisle believed she would be. I sighed as the internal conflict raged inside of me, but now that I was headed home I didn't feel like turning back.

It was nearly dawn when I turned down our drive on Sunday morning. Driving through town had been easier than I thought it would be. I had barely been tempted to see Isabella as I drove by her turn off. Instead I had come straight here to my home and family. I drove Carlisle's car into the garage and parked it in his spot. It took you long enough. As I got out of Carlisle's car I glanced over to the door leading into the house and spotted Alice sitting on the steps.

I smiled at her, "I'm sorry Alice I will try to hurry the thought process along next time."

Alice smiled up at me and we exchanged a hug. I was closer to Alice than the rest of my siblings. Alice and I had a rough start to our relationship as Tanya had reminded me, but we had become very close. It was because she was the only person who really challenged me in anything one-on-one. Chess, wrestling, tic-tac-toe, anything along those lines and we were no match against anyone but each other. I could anticipate moves far too early that I always had the advantage and Alice could see what they were going to do, sometimes even before they did. The only time we were really having fun was when we were challenging each other.

"We have been very worried about you," she spoke as she released me. "Don't worry Edward you won't hurt her."

"Thanks Alice," I said turning to the door and heading inside.

I hadn't gotten two steps inside the house before I was attacked by my mother with a hug. "What were you thinking, leaving me without so much as a good-bye? You have some explaining to do!" she demanded as she broke our hug. "How could you just leave like that?"

"I'm sorry mom. I just needed time to think," I explained and I was certain that if I had been capable of blushing I would be. She was my mother for all intents and purposes and she had just reprimanded me with guilt.

"Well next time do it here," she commanded. I didn't bother to respond knowing that she had simply been worried about me even though she seemed to understand why I had left by the thoughts I was hearing. She was as protective of us as any real mother would be of her children, like a mama bear when her cubes are threatened. She was simply reacting to the feeling that she had been unable to protect me.

"Dear, let Edward in the house," Carlisle said as he entered the room. Esme seemed to realize that I was still mostly in the garage and stepped back mumbling an apology as she did. "You decided to take a chance?" Carlisle asked as he gave me a hug in welcome.

"I still don't think that it is wise for me to go to school, but I missed my family," I acknowledged as I let him go.

"You're not going to miss school mister, how do we explain that?" Esme challenged.

"Your mother is right," Carlisle agreed putting his arm around his wife. "It will raise a lot of questions if you don't go to school."

"Did you tell them everything?" I inquired. I was a liability when it came to Isabella not just because I couldn't seem to control my thirst when I was around her, but because she was invisible to me telepathically. It was dangerous for our kind to interact so closely with humans. Our kind were essentially loners and existed as nomads, traveling from place to place with nowhere to call home. Very few had a permanent residence and besides us and Tanya's family in Denali none of our kind tried to coexist with the human race. Alice and I were what protected our family from discovery. If either of us saw or heard someone getting to close to the truth then we would pick up and move somewhere else.

"Yes I warned everyone," Carlisle conceded.

A thought flashed through his mind before he could try and hide it and I grimaced. "Rosalie isn't happy about it," I stated. He nodded confessing that she wasn't. Rosalie was the resident pessimist and was constantly seeing the worst in everything and rarely seeing the best. "Where is everyone else anyway?" I asked realizing that they should have heard I was home and come down to join in the conversation.

"They went out hunting," Alice supplied. "We should go too. You are going to need to be fully sated to face Bella," she said grabbing my arm and leading me to the back door.

"Bella?" I asked confused for a moment before catching the answer in her mind. "How come you didn't go with Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie?' I inquired.

"Because I saw you go hunting and I thought you might like a friend," she replied.

I sensed that there was more and began listening intently to her thoughts but they continued to be evasive as she floated across the backyard. "Alice? Why would I need a friend?" I asked her abruptly and her thought trail wavered leaving me an opening to see more than she was allowing me too. "Why is Bella important?" I interrogated her.

"I don't know," she said frustrated throwing her arms up in aggravation. "I shouldn't tell you." She admitted.

"Alice," I growled.

She sighed, "I'm honestly not sure Edward. Her future is constantly changing. She's important because it will be a decision that you make that will shape her future no matter how I look at it. It is not just one decision either, it will be several that will decide how she will live from now on. Just be careful Edward, your decisions will affect you as much as they will her."

I thought about what she said and wondered what she could possibly mean. I knew she was still keeping things about Bella from me because she wasn't allowing me to see the visions she had of Bella. I gripped Alice's hand in my own assuring her in silence that I was done bugging her for answers and led her to the creek. Alice's words still reverberated in my head; my decisions would affect her as much as they would affect me.

"This is a horrible idea!" Rosalie hissed as I came down the stairs with my backpack hung over my shoulder. I couldn't agree more, I mentally acquiesced, but I was determined to make it work.

"I'm fine Rosalie," I assured her as I stepped off the stairs onto the landing.

"Right now, what happens when you're sitting next to her in Biology again?" she argued.

"I won't let anything happen Rose," Alice comforted. "His resolve is so firm that the future is quite clear. He won't hurt her, at least not today," she pledged.

Rosalie didn't say anything more, but her thoughts were full of warnings of dire consequences if I should slip. I rolled my eyes when she turned away from me and began walking to the garage. I grabbed my keys off of the peg board and followed her out, my father and mother sending me encouraging thoughts as I did. Jasper wisped by me to join Alice in the car and Emmett barreled past hoping to beat him to the back seat so that he could sit with Rosalie and Jasper had to sit up front with me. I chuckled as they argued over who would take which seat and finally Alice grumbled something and crawled up front to sit with me.

I bit back a laugh as Jasper pouted at his wife and Emmett hastily crawled in next to Rosalie before Alice could change her mind. I ducked in the car and exchanged a knowing grin with Alice as I started the car. We sped towards school and I thought about the day ahead. I just kept telling myself that I could do it. Alice kept sending me reassuring thoughts as she kept one eye on the future and Jasper was using his special gift at manipulating emotions to keep me calm.

I quickly parked my car in our usual spot in the parking lot and all of us quickly, at human speed, hurried toward class having arrived just in time. I had not wanted to arrive too early and risk meeting Bella anywhere in the halls. The less I saw of the girl the better. Jasper and I hurried off to our Spanish class arriving just as the final bell rang. Mrs. Vasquez welcomed me back to class pleased to see that I was feeling better. Apparently my family had told the school that I had come down with a bad case of the flu. The class went by quickly as we worked on verb conjugation, Jasper and I finishing our work long before the rest of the class, both of us being able to speak fluent Spanish.

Jasper and I talked about Alice and I could see that Jasper wanted to talk about Bella but he sensed my hesitation and avoided the subject only warning me to be careful. The bell rang soon enough and Jasper and I followed the rest of the class out the door, smiling as we sensed their excitement as they filtered their way outside. Apparently it was snowing. Jasper and I exchanged conspiratory grins and rushed off to gather snow into balls and began pelting each other with them.

Our fight didn't last long but it served to take my mind off of Bella for a short while. Feeling much more relaxed Jasper and I separated for our next class. The next few hours sped by much to my dismay but I hurried off to the lunch room anxious to be with the rest of my family. I grabbed my tray of food that I wouldn't eat and headed to our usual table sitting down across from the girls next to Jasper and Emmett. My brothers were soaked from the snow and were threatening to get my sisters wet as they bantered back and forth. I laughed at some of the comments they were making to each other occasionally adding my own smart remark.

What's with Bella? I involuntarily glanced in the direction the thought had come from and saw Mike Newton looking at Jessica Stanly with a confused expression on his face. I glanced at Bella but she was looking at the floor. I moved my attention to Jessica wanting to avoid any uncomfortable images of Bella that Mike might concoct in his mind.

Nothing, I'll just get a soda today, I heard her say to Jessica and Mike.

Aren't you hungry? Jessica asked her concerned.

Actually, I feel a little sick, she informed Jessica. I frowned, thinking that if she didn't feel well the she should eat something, like fruit or bread. I was frustrated with Mike for not looking out for her since he seemed to like her so much. The sudden emotion snapped me back to reality and the frustration turned on myself for caring about Bella's well-being.

I turned my attention back to my family in an attempt to distract myself from my own thoughts and the strange path they were taking. "Oh now you asked for it!" Emmett said standing up and leaning across the table to shake his wet hair at the girls. I leaned away and laughed as I learned what Rosalie had said to bate her husband into a reaction. The girls leaned away from the boys crying out at getting wet and Jasper and I continued to chuckle at their disgusted expressions.

Why is she always looking at the Cullen's table? I heard Jessica think sourly. I glanced in her direction already knowing that Bella would be sitting next to her and my eyes met hers just before her gaze dropped to the table, her hair falling so that her face was concealed from me. I realized that her expressions were the only way I would ever be able to read her and I was frustrated that she was hiding from me.

Suddenly I remembered what she would have seen the last time we met and I inwardly flinched. She probably hated me and for some reason the idea made me uncomfortable. I didn't want Bella to hate me, but if I didn't want that, then what did I want? My sensible side reasoned that it was better if she thought I hated her because it would put a wall and distance between us, but why would I need a wall and distance between us anyway? Why was she so different from everyone else I knew?

Edward Cullen is staring at you, Jessica giggled in Bella's ear, but I could hear the spiteful thoughts whirling around in her head. She didn't like that I seemed to be interested in Bella and not her. In her mind she was prettier than Bella was and she seemed to think that I should be attracted to her and not Bella. Was I attracted to Bella? No, she was human and I saw her as nothing more than a way to sate my hunger.

He doesn't look angry, does he? I listened to her ask Jessica.

No. Should he be? Jessica was asking Bella confused.

I don't think he likes me, I heard Bella confess to Jessica. I frowned slightly hearing this. I didn't know her well enough to know if I liked her or not.

The Cullen's don't like anybody … well they don't notice anybody enough to like them. But he's still staring at you. Jessica's thoughts were bitter when she said this to Bella, but her comment had struck a chord. My family and I went to great lengths to keep people at a distance, not allowing anyone to get too close. It was dangerous to allow ourselves to connect with people, because the more they got to know us, the more likely they were to notice that we didn't eat, didn't drink, didn't have normal human routines, and soon they would be discovering the truth. However, I suddenly found myself saddened by the way we lived. I wanted to get to know Bella and understand her. I decided that it was simply because I couldn't read her that I wanted this, but my subconscious was crying me a liar.

I turned my attention back to my family and we chatted and laughed the rest of the lunch hour. Emmett and Jasper left early so that they could go back out and play in the snow. I didn't bother to tell them that it had melted already. Alice, Rosalie and I talked until the bell rang. Rosalie got up saying her good-byes and sending warning thoughts about Bella my way before leaving.

I raised a questioning eyebrow at Alice. "You are going to speak with her?" she asked. I nodded that I was. I had come to that decision when I discovered that she didn't think I liked her. I wanted her to stay away from me but I didn't want her thinking I hated her. "Just be careful Edward," Alice cautioned as she got up and left. I frowned after her wondering what had her worried and unable to see why because she was being very careful with her thoughts. Her warnings from the night before flowed through my mind and I wondered if this was one of those decisions and what the outcome would be.

I picked my bag up when I noticed that Bella had left the lunch room and headed off to class. My mind was whirling with thoughts as I tried to come up with a plan of action. I had already decided that I would hold my breath through class since we didn't need air to survive. It was uncomfortable, not breathing, but it was better than breathing in Bella's scent which would be nearly painful to me. How would I show her that I wasn't that monster she had seen last week? How would I convince her I didn't hate her? I would have to talk which meant that I would have to breathe occasionally. I would just be very careful with when and how I breathed I decided.

I entered the room and my gaze instantly went to Bella. She was leaning on the lab table and as I drew closer to her I noticed that she was doodling in her notebook. I pulled my chair away from the desk and heard her heart rate increase as she tensed. I obviously left a pretty bad impression on her if she was terrified of me even being near her. I scooted my chair as far from her as the desk allowed, a small distance, to avoid temptation. Still I sat down facing her and pondered how to breach a conversation with her.

"Hello," I said deciding that short and basic was the best way. Bella looked up at me then, her pen no longer flowing across her paper, and her facial expression displayed a look of shock. She remained silent and I frowned wondering if she truly was dumb and that I wasn't able to read her mind simply because there was nothing to read. I mentally shook my head; even a dumb person had thoughts. I smiled at her without showing my teeth, knowing that on a subconscious level they would frighten her, and waited for her to say something. When she didn't I decided that I should probably introduce myself. "My name is Edward Cullen," I offered. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."

I watched her face intently trying to decipher her thoughts the conventional way – through non-verbal communication. She was confused, that was clear to see, and I wanted to know why but there was no answer forth coming. "H-how do you know my name?" she stammered.

I laughed thinking about the uproar she alone had caused in the little town of Forks. "Oh, I think everyone knows your name. The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive," I informed her with a chuckle still resonating in my voice.

She grimaced and I wondered if she hated being the center of the town gossip as much as I did. "No, I meant, why did you call me Bella?"

I frowned not understanding. I had begun thinking of her as Isabella, but Alice had informed me of her preference for Bella and as the day had continued I noticed that near everyone thought and referred to her as Bella. "Do you prefer Isabella?" I finally asked.

"No, I like Bella," she conceded. "But I think Charlie – I mean my dad – must call me Isabella behind my back – that's what everyone here seems to know me as," she explained.

"Oh," I muttered turning my attention to Mr. Banner sensing that he was about to start. I was thankful for his timing because it had saved me from an explanation to Bella. What was I supposed to say? I'm telepathic and I know you prefer Bella because that is what you have told everyone else. Yeah right. I cursed my inability to read her thoughts so that I could avoid complicated questions like that.

I focused my attention onto Mr. Banner as he explained that we would be doing a lab. As partners, Bella and I would have to separate the slides on our desk of onion root into the proper phases of mitosis they represented and then label them appropriately. As Mr. Banner explained the lab, I turned my head slightly so that I could take a deep breath of air. I had run out when I was talking with Bella. Luckily I didn't catch her scent as I breathed in the air.

I turned back to Bella when Mr. Banner gave the okay to start. "Ladies first, partner?" I asked smiling at her. Bella's expression was a bit dazed and I wondered once again if she truly was dumb, yet somehow I couldn't bring myself to believe that. "Or I could start, if you wish," I offered deciding that perhaps she was just shy.

Bella flushed and the pink hue on her cheeks was enticing and my mouth watered at the sight. "No, I'll go ahead," she decided reaching out for the microscope and the first slide. I watched her as she adjusted the microscope prepared to offer advice if she needed it. I had already done this lab the last time I was in high school, so I knew what to do. Bella it turned out didn't need any help. She went through the motions as if she had done this before. "Prophase," she announced when she looked at the slide.

"Do you mind if I look?" I asked reaching out instinctively to grab her hand and keep her from removing the slide. She jerked her hand back and I realized that to her my touch would have been ice cold.

"I'm sorry," I muttered as I continued to reach for the microscope to check her work. Only half my attention was on my work however. Her touch, her warm touch, had felt so good against my deathly cold skin, but that hadn't been the only thing I noticed. When I had touched her it had been like an electric shock had gone through me. I puzzled over an explanation for why that had happened as I switched the slide out for the next one. "Anaphase," I declared writing it down on the worksheet.

"May I?" she asked trying to sound indifferent. I smirked at her as I slid the microscope over to her. There had been a hint of a challenge in her voice and I somehow knew that she was hoping I was wrong. "Slide three?" she said holding her hand out for the next slide. I hesitated before handing her the slide, being very careful not to touch her again. I hid a chuckle as she tried to look as quickly as she could in the microscope. "Interphase." She pushed the microscope over to me before I could ask for it and I had to bite back a grin.

We finished our assignment in that rhythm, each of us taking our turn through the microscope and each of us double checking the other's work. We were the first ones to complete the assignment and so we were left to entertain ourselves. I stared at Bella racking my brain for something to start a conversation and at the same time wondering if that was wise. I tried once again to read her mind, futilely hoping that I could read it now that I had spent time with her, but she was as closed to me as ever.

She looked up at me suddenly and met my gaze, her eyes briefly flashed with recognition. "Did you get contacts?" she asked abruptly.

"No," I said baffled by her sudden question.

"Oh, I thought there was something different about your eyes," she muttered disclosing the reason behind the question.

I shrugged turning away from her and mentally kicked myself. Of course there was something different about my eyes. The last time she had seen them they had been pitch black with thirst and full of hate. Today they were a golden color, like pale honey. I kept myself turned away from her hoping that she wouldn't wish to discuss why my eyes were suddenly a different color and hoped that she would just believe she imagined the black eyes. I realized that once again I was out of air and I carefully opened my mouth to take a deep breath. Her scent teased the back of my throat and I clenched my fist as I tried to ignore the sudden burning of thirst I felt.

"So Edward, didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?" Mr. Banner asked from over my shoulder and I startled slightly unaware that he had been there.

"Bella," I automatically corrected him, silently thanking the man, once again, for his impeccable timing. "Actually, she identified three of the five."

Mr. Banner looked at Bella with a skeptical expression his thoughts revealing that he didn't believe me. "Have you done this lab before?" he asked her. I listened carefully wondering if she would reveal anything about herself.

She smiled shyly, "Not with onion root."

"Whitefish blastula?"

"Yeah."

"Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?" he asked her curiously. She had certainly seemed intelligent when we were doing the lab and I waited to hear her answer.

"Yes." So she wasn't stupid. The thought pleased me more than I thought it should. I should have been happier if she was dumb, at least then I had a logical excuse for not being able to read her, if not a very good one.

"Well, I guess it's good you two are lab partners." Mr. Banner walked off mumbling something about how at least the rest of the class could learn from him. Bella turned back to her notebook to doodle some more.

"It's too bad about the snow isn't it?" I blurted out and immediately wished I hadn't. It wasn't my intention to become her friend; I just didn't want her to hate me and I was fairly certain that I had accomplished that.

She shrugged involuntarily. "Not really," she replied honestly.

"You don't like the cold," I stated knowingly. She had said as much to Jessica I recalled from when I was reading her thoughts earlier in the day. I had been keeping tabs on Jessica throughout the day so that I could learn Bella's schedule and therefore had been privy so several of their conversations.

"Or the wet," she confessed.

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live," I mused. Forks and Phoenix were worlds apart in nearly every way. It was a big change.

"You have no idea," she grumbled.

I carefully watched her facial expressions as she talked trying to discover what she was thinking. It had been my experience that people weren't honest when they answered questions. They tried to be diplomatic or pleasing, usually saying what the other person wanted to hear. Bella was different though. Her answers seemed so honest that I was intensely curious as to what she was really thinking.

"Why did you come here then?" I asked her.

She seemed somewhat surprised by my question and I wondered if I had let some of my irritation with her presence in Forks slip into my voice. "It's….complicated."

"I think I can keep up," I pressed. It bothered me that I couldn't read her and had to resort to communication to learn about her.

She hesitated and I sensed she was trying to decide whether or not she should tell a stranger when her gaze met mine. "My mother got remarried," she answered.

She moved her gaze away from mine and I watched as she tried to keep her eyes off of me and being unsuccessful. "That doesn't sound so complex," I disagreed. "When did that happen?"

"Last September." Her voice sounded sad, almost mournful.

My arms ached to reach out and hold her and comfort her, instead I continued the conversation knowing that would be a very bad idea. "And you don't like him," I guessed, deciding that would be the source of her sadness.

"No, Phil is fine. To young maybe, but nice enough."

So she liked her stepfather, then why was she so sad? "Why didn't you stay with them?" I hoped I didn't let any of my irritation out again, but I had to know why she had moved here. Didn't she know that she was in danger here?

"Phil travels a lot. He plays ball for a living," she explained.

I smiled at her, "Have I heard of him?" I began going through all the rosters in my head looking for any Phil's I knew.

"Probably not. He doesn't play well. Strictly minor league. He moves around a lot."

"And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him," I surmised proudly for having been able to follow the conversation without reading her mind.

"No, she did not send me here. I sent myself," she said her chin rose in defiance.

I frowned in confusion becoming increasingly frustrated with not being able to read her mind. "I don't understand," I admitted.

She let out a sigh and I wondered if I was bothering her. "She stayed with me at first, but she missed him. It made her unhappy… so I decided that it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie," she explained her voice gloomy.

"But now your unhappy," I observed.

Again her posture stiffened becoming challenging. "And?"

"That doesn't seem fair."

She chuckled but there was no humor in it. "Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair." She said acerbically.

"I believe I have heard that before," I agreed. I knew it better than perhaps most people did. I knew that Carlisle believed he had given me a gift when he had changed me, but in my eyes it was more like a curse, and I often wished that he had never turned me. I would never tell him that though, because I knew he had done what he did out of love and compassion for me and for my mother.

"So that's all," she insisted drawing me out of my thoughts and I realized I was still looking at her.

"You put on a good show, but I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see," I assessed. I may not have had to rely on non-verbal communication in a long time, but I obviously hadn't forgotten everything from my human life.

She grimaced and I knew that I was right. "Am I wrong?" I asked her. "I didn't think so," I said when she didn't say anything. I was beginning to figure her out. When I was wrong she corrected me and when I was right she said nothing.

"What does it matter to you?" She demanded.

"That's a very good question," I mumbled not caring if she heard me or not. Why did I care? I had never cared about anyone other than my family as Jessica had so painfully made clear earlier. So why did I all of the sudden have a need to protect this one fragile woman? It was becoming nearly as strong as my need to drink her blood. She sighed and again I wondered if I was upsetting her. "Am I annoying you?"

Her gaze flickered to mine and they seemed to get caught there. "Not exactly. I'm more annoyed with myself. My face is so easy to read – my mother always calls me her open book."

"On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read."

"You must be a good reader then," she surmised.

"Usually." I smiled widely at how true that was. To her mother she was an open book, but to me she was closed, her secrets hidden away under lock and key and I mentally mourned that I would never learn them.

I was thankful when Mr. Banner called the class to order at that moment. I had run out of breath yet again while I had talked to Bella and I need to take another breath. This time I leaned away from her and prepared myself for the onslaught her scent would bring me as I breathed in. I tensed instinctively as her sweet perfume tickled my senses. It was slowly getting easier to breathe around her as I got use to her scent, but it didn't make me want her any less than I did.

As soon as the bell rang I picked my things up and hastily left the room without saying good-bye. I knew it was rude, but I couldn't risk talking to her anymore today. Her scent was slowly making me crazy. I hurried to my next class unconsciously seeking out Mike Newton's mind. I knew that they had P.E. together. Realizing what I was doing I quickly switched tactics and searched out someone else, anyone else to listen too. I was already too wrapped up in Bella for her own good.

Class passed by slowly as I did my best to avoid searching out Mike Newton again. I rushed out of class at the end, happy to have the day over with and to get home so that I could go hunting. I made it to my car, as usual, before my siblings arrived. I leaned against the front door and impatiently watched the front of the school for my family. As I waited I saw Bella leave the gym. She hurried to her vehicle, the ugly red truck that looked like it had probably seen better days. Bella jumped in the cab and I watched as she shook out her damp hair and reach forward, probably to turn the heater on. She looked around to make sure that it was clear to back up and her gaze met mine. Her face became one of uncertainty and she quickly threw the truck into gear and backed up nearly hitting a Toyota Corolla when she did. I laughed as I watched her slam on her brakes and her cheeks turn red in embarrassment. She didn't look at me as she drove by and I wondered if she was purposely trying to avoid my gaze, her look of concentration was so intense.


	6. Reaction

The snow came down that night and this time it stuck, the rain from earlier freezing the pine trees in a beautiful display of crystal. The snow wasn't thick enough to do anything other than have a snowball fight which my siblings and I did on and off throughout the night. As dawn approached I broke away from my family deciding that it was best that I go feed before school. I had fed when I came home, but I wanted to be as full as possible to make it as easy as I could to be around Bella.

I arrived home just before it was time for us to leave for school, almost sick from all the blood I had drank. If it was possible to have a stomachache as a vampire I would have one now, it was that uncomfortable. I heard the thoughts of my family in my head, Carlisle telling me that I should have known better, Esme wanting to find a way to make it okay, Emmett finding my predicament funny, and Jasper was worried.

We need to leave Edward, Rosalie thought sourly not caring at all that I was uncomfortable with how full I was. She seemed to think that I deserved it.

"I'm coming, just a second," I waved her off. Running up the stairs as fast as I could, I quickly changed out of my snow drenched clothes and into something that would look warm, and raced back down the stairs in a matter of seconds. "See ya Mom, Dad," I said as I rushed out the garage door to my siblings waiting in the car.

I drove much more carefully this morning, which was difficult since I was used to racing through the corners of the country road we lived on. If I was being entirely honest with myself I would admit there was a part of me that couldn't wait to see Bella again. However, I didn't want to be honest, so I crushed down my eager feelings and convinced myself that it was simply that I wasn't used to driving slow. Even still we pulled into the parking lot early and I parked in our usual spot. I involuntarily glanced around the lot hoping to see Bella's truck and was disappointed when I didn't find it.

My family eagerly got out of the car and headed toward the school all except for Alice and myself. "What are you hiding from me Alice?" I asked her when I was unsuccessful at gaining the information from her thoughts.

"I keep having these visions of Bella, Edward but I'm not sure what to tell you," she explained. I raised a questioning brow at her as I waited for her to continue. She sighed and then continued. "I'm not sure talking to her yesterday was the best idea Edward."

"What do you mean?" I demanded uncertain where this was headed.

"Well you see, I couldn't see. These decisions around Bella that are influencing her future, there are so many that can affect the outcome. I'm having a hard time finding a safe path. But yesterday when you talked to her, her future narrowed, but I don't think it really had anything to do with you talking with her necessarily," she explained her face puckered in confusion and frustration all at once.

"I don't understand," I admitted confused.

"Did you make another decision Edward? Did something happen while you were talking with her?" she asked me. I thought about it and shook my head. I hadn't made any decisions yesterday and nothing happened between us that I could think of. "Just be careful then, I can't tell where this is headed very clearly, everything is just shadows."

I nodded that I understood. Alice hesitated, eyeing me as if she wanted to say something else, but instead she hurried off to catch up with Jasper at the front entrance. As I watched her walk away I heard the unmistakable roar of a truck engine and I felt a flicker of excitement in my chest. Why was I so happy to see her when she tortured me with that sweet nectar she had for blood? I turned to watch her pull her truck into a parking space only four cars away from my own.

She was very careful getting out of the car her expression worried as she tested the ground with her feet before setting them firmly on the pavement. She slipped a little as she turned around to grab her bag but she caught herself. Her bag on her shoulder and her door shut she cautiously kept one hand on her truck as she moved down its length only to come to an abrupt stop at the back of her truck and lean over the tire.

I wondered what she was looking at when an image suddenly filled my mind and I knew that Alice was having a vision, because it was coming from her. I was frozen in place as I watched a blue van swerve to miss a car only to go sliding across the lot and ram into Bella. No! My mind watched as I, myself, ran forward, drawn by the scent of warm blood, and exposed my family to the entire school.

The screech of tires drew me out of Alice's vision and I watched in horror as the blue van I had seen only a moment before in her vision swerved to miss a car. I didn't think about what to do next. All that went through my mind was that God couldn't have her, he couldn't have My Bella! She was too innocent, to selfless, too kind to meet such a disastrous and bloody end. I rushed forward, not thinking that anyone might see me, and collided with Bella as I pushed her out of the way and onto the ground. I briefly registered the sound of her head hitting the pavement but I was too focused on the car to care.

I cursed as I turned away from Bella to see the van hit her truck only to curl around its bed and ricochet towards where we lay on the ground. I instinctively through my arms up in the air to stop the van as it hurtled toward us. When the van stopped as it hit my stony arms I quickly, as fast as I possibly could, lifted the van, meanwhile throwing Bella against the tire of the golden car behind us, and dragged the van so that it settled against the corner bumper of the golden car. Swiftly, I reorganized the dents in the van so that no one would see the handprints I had left and then added a few dents to the gold car so that it matched the dents on the van. As soon as I was finished I immediately turned my attention to Bella gripping her up in my arms and holding her tightly to my chest afraid to let her go.

"Bella, Bella? Are you all right?" I asked, mentally begging God to let this sweet girl live. Even to my own ears my voice sounded frantic but I couldn't control the fear that I had experienced. In those few moments where I had thought Bella was going to die, I had felt as if I lost everything. The world had gone dark and I realized that Bella had brought a light to my life that I had just noticed and I couldn't lose that.

"I'm fine," she mumbled and her voice sounded as if she was out of breath.

She tried to sit up, but I tightened my arms around her, still afraid that I would lose her. She struggled in my arms for a moment before realizing I wasn't going to allow her to move quite yet. "Be careful, I think you hit your head pretty hard," I warned her suddenly remembering the loud crack from when I had thrown her to the ground.

"Ow," she groaned, somewhat surprised as if she hadn't realized at the time that she had gotten hurt.

I suppressed a chuckle at the expression she made as she gently touched the back of her head to assess the damage. "That's what I thought," I said when she winced slightly.

"How in the…how did you get over here so fast?" she asked me after a moment of hesitation.

Oh no, time for the lies. How did I explain how I had gotten here? "I was standing right next to you, Bella," I said hoping that she would take the lie and role with it.

She turned in my arms and tried to sit up. This time I let her. I was beginning to notice that sweet scent again and now that the fear of losing her was gone my other senses were beginning to kick back in. I slid as far from her as I could in the small space and took a deep breath trying to keep from smelling her. She turned to look at me and those gorgeous brown eyes of hers met mine looking slightly dazed as she did so. When had I begun to think her eyes were gorgeous?

I heard people shouting as they tried to get Tyler out of the van and organize groups of people to move cars, but I began to focus on the minds of others. Everyone seemed to think it was only Bella who had gotten trapped. No one had seen me speed over and knock Bella out of the way, no one except my family anyway. Alice was worried about how I was, Rosalie was furious and Jasper and Emmett were simply angry that I had reacted. I focused my mind on the rest of the student body and the teachers carefully avoiding the minds of my siblings. I was going to have to think of a reasonable explanation for what I had done.

The sound of sirens brought my focus back to Bella and I noticed that she was going to get up. Gently, I reached out and put my hand on her shoulder, keeping her on the ground. "Just stay put for now."

"It's cold," she whined. A chuckle slipped past my control as I recalled our conversation from the previous day and her aversion to anything cold and wet. It saddened me when I realized that I was cold by nature and that she might hold that against me. "You were over there, you were by your car."

Her sudden comment brought me out of my ill thoughts. "No I wasn't," I disagreed hastily. I had thought she had bought my lie when she didn't argue it, but it was clear now that wasn't the case. I should have known it wouldn't be that easy. Bella wasn't like most humans who would take a lie and try to fit into their world. Humans liked their lives neat and tidy with nothing unexpected and when something couldn't fit in their world they took hold of the lie with both hands because it made more sense than the truth. Bella didn't do that. I had noticed it the previous day, how observant she was, that she didn't make assumptions and always asked the why of things.

"I saw you," she argued.

There was a determined look in her eyes and I knew she wasn't just going to accept an answer with no explanation. I stared back at her intently, willing her to understand that I couldn't tell her. "Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way."

"No."

Why did she have to be so stubborn? "Please, Bella."

"Why?" Why couldn't she just let it go?

"Trust me," I begged her. People were beginning to get close enough to hear the conversation we were having and the last thing I needed was for people to be suspicious of my unexpected appearance in the crash.

"Will you promise to explain everything to me later?" she negotiated.

My patience snapped. What did she think, that we were having a debate? "Fine," I bit out. I would say anything just to get her to say the stupid lie. Like I was really going to tell her the truth. However, I wasn't so certain that the reasons I wasn't going to tell her were all that noble. I knew she would run the other direction screaming bloody murder if I told her the truth and the thought of her being afraid of me hurt and on some level I wanted her to accept me.

"Fine!" Bella's face was flushed with anger and frustration and the site of her blood so close the surface of her skin made my mouth water. I groaned inwardly hoping that they would get us out of here soon or else I was going to end up doing exactly what I had just tried to prevent.

Six EMTs and two teachers shifted the van out of the way, just far enough to fit in a stretcher. They were surprised to see me there as they had only thought they would find Bella. I stood up before anyone could tell me any differently and refused my stretcher. I ended up having to promise to let my father check me out at the hospital before they would leave me alone. Any vital signs that they would have found would have declared me 'dead'. I didn't have a heart, so no blood pressure, no heartbeat, and my core body temperature was non-existent. I bit back a smirk when Bella tried to refuse hers as well and I informed the EMTs that she hit her head and received a scalding look from her for ratting her out. I mentally shrugged. In a way I was hoping that she would turn up with a concussion so that I could convince her of my lie.

They were just loading Bella into the ambulance when her father arrived. I quietly moved out of the way and towards the front of the Ambulance where I was riding. I tried to avoid the looks of my family members and I was having a really difficult time ignoring their thoughts. As I waited for us to leave I began humming a tune to help me drown out my siblings' anger. It was a new tune and I wasn't sure quite yet who or what had inspired it, but I slowly worked out some of the notes in my head reorganizing them, deleting them, and adding them. By the time the ambulance left the school, Charlie's Police Cruiser providing an escort, I had gotten a basic idea of how I wanted the song to go.

When we arrived at the hospital I didn't wait for anyone to tell me what I needed to do. I immediately went in search of my father like I had promised the EMTs, Bella's glare following me as I moved toward the doors. She was obviously not happy to be strapped to a stretcher with a brace around that succulent neck of hers. I ignored her, hoping that she would go along with the story I had given her. As I entered the building Carlisle was just getting ready to exit it. He immediately grabbed hold of my arm and led me over to the front desk, filled out the needed paperwork, and then led me to his office his thoughts full of confusion, anger and worry.

"Do you know how worried I was?" Carlisle exploded as soon as the door to his office closed. "My son, one that I know very well can't get hurt, is in a car accident and riding to the hospital in an ambulance! What is going on?"

"Dad, Carlisle, I didn't have a choice." I tried to explain. The trouble with giving him an explanation was that I really didn't have one.

"What do you mean?"

I sighed uncertain of how to describe what happened in those few quick moments. "Alice had a vision, of the car accident, and the van hit Bella. You can only imagine my reaction when I caught a whiff of her scent. I couldn't let that happen."

Carlisle rubbed his hands against his face and I could see the frustration in his thoughts, Start from the beginning.

"Alice had her vision and the next thing I know it was happening. I ran to her, from four cars away, so that I could get her out of the way. I didn't know what else to do. I stopped the van, after I got her out of the way it was still coming toward us and I stopped it." I summarized leaving out any unneeded details.

"Did she see you?" He was asking about the van.

"No, at least I don't think so, but…she saw me run to her. She knows I wasn't anywhere near her when the accident began."

"You should have run away Edward." Carlisle sighed as he sat down in his desk chair.

"I couldn't," I whispered knowing that he could hear me. "All I could think about was 'not her'."

"I'm proud of you for what you did Edward, I'm just thinking of how sometimes playing hero can get us into more trouble than is needed. You did the right thing all things considered. I don't expect you to let someone die when you have the ability to stop it. That's not how your were raised by your birth parent's or by me." Carlisle opened up his desk drawer and pulled out the paperwork that needed to be filled out so that everyone would be assured that I was alive and well. He began filling it in, making sure that all my vital signs were displayed as healthy just slightly shocked. "How are you going to convince her that she didn't see what she thought she saw?"

"She hit her head pretty hard, I'm hoping that I can just convince her that she might be slightly crazy, that she forgot something," I shrugged thoughtfully as I tried to build a plan in my head. None were forth coming, because if there was one thing I had learned about Isabella Swan was that she was far to observant for her own good.

"I'll come down and take a look at her x-ray's. I never thought I would say this but I truly hope we will discover that she has a concussion. Why don't you head on down there?" Before she tells everyone what she saw.

I didn't bother to correct my father. Bella may have agreed not to tell anyone about what happened and to go along with my story for the time being but there was no way to tell if she was capable of keeping her word.

I found my way to the emergency care unit of the hospital and located Bella. Tyler Crowley was lying on the bed next to hers and I learned that he had been the one driving the van. A rush of anger went through me as I realized that Tyler was the one who almost killed my Bella. My Bella? When had I begun to think of her as mine? I didn't want to think about it. It was enough to know that she was beginning to make my life extremely difficult.

I walked into the room and stood watching Bella from the foot of her bed. She looked so peaceful lying there in the hospital bed looking as if she were asleep. I knew that she wasn't, her heart rate was too fast and her breathing to shallow for that to be the case. I decided to go along with it. "Is she sleeping?" I asked Tyler.

Her eyes flew open to glare at me. Her cheeks were flushed with anger, but I heard her heart skip a beat as she met and tried to hold my gaze. I wonder why that was. There was something adorable about her when she was angry. It didn't sit well on her. I tried not to smile, but I wasn't very successful so instead I ended up smirking.

"Hey Edward, I'm really sorry –" Tyler began.

I lifted my hand putting a halt to his apology. "No blood, no foul," I assured him as I moved to sit on the edge of his bed. My anger with him simmered still and I was afraid of what I would do to him if he had brought the accident up. It wasn't really his fault either, and I knew that. It bothered me that I had this irrational anger boiling inside of me. I focused on reading his thoughts trying to discern what Bella had told him of the accident. Apparently she told him my story because Tyler was still trying to work out how he didn't see me standing next to her.

"So what's the verdict?" I asked turning my attention back to Bella.

"There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go," she complained a hint of a whine was present in her voice as well. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "How come you're not strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

"It's all about who you know, but don't worry, I came to spring you," I added quickly when I heard Carlisle just around the corner.

Bella's mouth dropped when my father entered the room and I wondered what she was thinking. I was doing a lot of that lately it seemed. Her eyes flitted between me and my father and I knew she was making the connection. I could hear how interested Carlisle was about Bella, but I couldn't pinpoint the exact cause of that interest. He seemed to be very careful with his thoughts at the moment, as if he was avoiding telling me something.

"So Miss Swan, how are you feeling?" he asked her as he looked over her medical charts.

"I'm fine." She sounded as if she had said this one too many times.

Carlisle walked over to the light board and flipped it on so that he could examine the x-rays. No concussion Edward. Maybe I can find something to give you a little help. "Your x-rays look good. Does your head hurt? Edward said that you hit it pretty hard."

"It's fine." There was a hint of annoyance in her voice as she scowled at me. 'This is all your fault' they seemed to say. She was right. If she had never met me she would be safe.

Carlisle began to lightly touch her head around the area where it had hit the pavement. She winced when he found the spot. "Tender?"

"Not really." It didn't take my mind reading to know that she was lying. That crack on the pavement probably left a good bruise on the back of her head, she was lucky that she didn't have a concussion. I bit back a chuckle unsuccessfully and gave her a knowing look and her eyes narrowed on me in irritation.

"Well, your father is in the waiting room – you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all." How do we fix this Edward? How indeed? Why couldn't she have hit her head harder?

"Can't I go back to school?" she asked as if she were a little uncertain if she wanted to go home. I agreed with her. I couldn't picture Charlie trying to fill in the role of the nurturing, worried, mother.

"Maybe you should take it easy today," Carlisle tried to encourage.

"Does he get to go to school?" she demanded.

"Someone has to spread the good news that we survived," I said thankful to have an excuse not to go home and deal with my family quite yet. Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett were furious with me and I wasn't prepared to deal with that argument quite yet.

"Actually, most of the school seems to be in the waiting room." You are not escaping this that easily mister. We have some serious things to discuss, Carlisle thought.

"Oh no," Bella groaned her face in her hands and for once I agreed with her. Oh no.

"Do you want to stay?" he asked her in surprise.

"No, no!" she nearly shouted as she scrambled out of the bed. When her legs hit the floor she staggered. I reached out to catch her but Carlisle was already there helping her find her balance. I envied the way that he could so easily be around her. I was so afraid that I would break her if I got to close to her. I see what you mean by her blood Edward. It does smell rather succulent. I do wonder why it affects you so much more though? His thoughts didn't bother me like they would have had they come from someone else. Carlisle was merely making an observation without any intention of acting on that said observation.

"I'm fine," Bella said before either Carlisle or I could make the suggestion that she should stay here for a little while. I was beginning to realize that Bella had a bit of a stubborn streak in her.

"Take some Tylenol for the pain." Carlisle didn't bother to argue with Bella. He seemed to realize that she would argue with him until she got her way and I had no doubt that she would do it.

"It doesn't hurt that bad."

"It sounds like you were extremely lucky," Carlisle said absently as he signed her medical papers.

"Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me," she agreed casting me a scathing glare as she said this.

"Oh, well, yes," he mumbled and I could see that he was uncertain of what to make of Bella. She said what I told her to say, but it was clear that she wasn't happy about it, and that she wasn't going to believe it for a second. Bella was one of those rare people who chose to believe in exactly what they saw, no matter how improbable it was.

I tried to keep my eyes off Bella and focused on my father as if I was busy. I knew that she would ask me to explain what happened this morning but I didn't know what I was going to tell her. Nothing I could say was going to make her believe in my lie. I watched as Carlisle began to ask Tyler some questions about his condition, but all of my attention was on Bella.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she whispered near my ear. I stiffened as her breath played with my senses. I took a step back trying to put some distance between us. Her scent was so delicious that all I could think about was how much better it would be to taste it.

"Your father is waiting for you," I urged trying not to breathe. Edward, now!

"I'd like to speak with you alone, if you don't mind." Her glance quickly went to my father and Tyler as she spoke before coming back and meeting my own.

I glared down at her unprepared to answer her questions, but my father was right. In some way this had to be dealt with and the sooner it was the better. I turned and led her to the far end of the room and to the short hallway that was on the other side not having heard anyone there.

I whirled around when we were out of sight of anyone else and glared down at her. How could one insignificant human being manage to create a disaster in my life? "What do you want?"

"You owe me an explanation," she prompted. A flicker of fear went through her eyes as she met my hard gaze and I felt guilty for making her afraid. I didn't want her to be afraid of me, but she should be. I was the predator and she was the prey no matter how else you looked at it, it always came back to the basics. She was better off if she was afraid of me, possibly even hated me. It had been a mistake to try to befriend her and now I needed to push her far away where she would be safe.

"I saved your life – I don't owe you anything," I hissed allowing my frustration and anger with her to come out.

"You promised." Bella looked so small in that moment that I nearly broke down and took her in my arms, apologizing for all that I had done to her and telling her everything, the whole truth.

Why did this human make me care so much? I felt angry at her for making me feel things that I don't remember, feelings that I hadn't felt since I was a human, feelings that I hadn't experienced in nearly eighty years ago. "Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about," I said my anger slipping out with my words. Just believe me, I mentally urged her.

A blush rose to her cheeks and spark flashed through her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with my head!" She obviously did not care to be told what was wrong with her. She struck me as the kind of person who never exaggerated or down-played any sort of injury. It hurt that was it, but it wasn't killing her, and it wasn't threatening her mentality, so she simply just wanted to move on from it and apparently she wasn't happy that I wouldn't let her.

"What do you want from me Bella?"

"I want to know the truth. I want to know why I'm lying for you." There was a trace of hope in her eyes, but it was overshadowed by the hurt that was reflected there. It pained me to know that I was the one who was putting it there. She didn't know that I was harming myself at the same time, that it felt like I was maiming myself by pushing her away from me.

"What do you think happened?" I snapped at her, angry with myself for feeling so much for someone I didn't even know.

I listened as she described what happened, her voice becoming more awed and panicked by the second. Her eyes were turning red, tears puddling at the bottom of them and when she stopped talking I knew that she was trying to hold them back. My insides got all tangled up knowing that I was the one who was putting those tears there, but I knew I couldn't let her see how it affected me. So badly, I wanted to wipe her tears away from her eyes and pull her close and tell her everything was okay, but I couldn't and it hurt. Those tears felt like someone was twisting a knife in my gut.

"You think I lifted a van off of you?" I asked her as if that was the most ridiculous thing that I had ever heard of. She didn't speak, only nodded her head, her jaw clamped tight still trying to fight back the tears. "Nobody will believe that you know."

"I'm not going to tell anybody," she said, speaking each word carefully and precisely as if she was afraid that I wouldn't believe her.

I was surprised to hear this, but then it could just be a ploy to get me to tell her the truth. I mentally shook my head of the idea; Bella was too honest to play manipulative games like that. "Then why does it matter?" I asked her, my curiosity evident in my voice.

"It matters to me. I don't like to lie – so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it," she insisted.

I couldn't tell her that there was a very good reason for the lie, because I had to lie to her too. "Can't you just thank me and get over it?" I persisted.

She flushed slightly at the reminder that she hadn't thanked me at all for saving her life. "Thank you," she said but her eyes were still expectant.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" I asked her already knowing the answer. I had suspected it not long after she had sat up in my arms this morning.

"No."

"In that case … I hope you enjoy disappointment," I said like a character from a poorly written romance script.

She glared at me and I glared back both of us fighting for the other to give in and both of us equally determined to win. "Why did you even bother?" she asked her voice cold and mocking.

Again I found myself wondering that same thing. There was a whole list of reasons I could give starting with if she had been hit, I would have been the one to kill her, but I couldn't tell her that. I also couldn't tell her that all I had been able to think about when I saved her was that she was mine and God couldn't have her because I wanted to keep her. "I don't know," I answered truthfully. It was the only honest answer that I was able to give her, because with my whole list of reasons of why I couldn't let her die, none of them were the reason I ran after her.

I turned away from her and walked away unable to face the pain that I was causing her by lying to her. My thoughts were a jumbled mess as I tried to discover exactly what was going on inside of me. Bella was human, off limits, and yet I wanted her like the air I breathed and not just her blood anymore. My arms ached to hold her and to comfort her. I wanted to make her smile and see her laugh, but I couldn't because one mistake and I would break her in half.

"How did your talk with Bella go?" Carlisle asked me as he came into his office where I had hidden myself.

"She promised not to say anything," I said half-heartedly my mind still centered around Bella.

"Edward you can't read her, how do you know she will keep her word?" he asked laying a hand on my shoulder sensing that I needed comfort.

"She kept it once before, and she is essentially an honest person," I said confidently.

Carlisle didn't say anything more, only moved away and began gathering his things. He apparently told the hospital staff that he was going to take me home and keep a close eye on me in case he missed something; mainly, however, he just wanted to be with me to face the rest of the family.


End file.
